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Pam: I’ve been trying to make homemade arby’s sauce (not successful yet) and ended up making a really awesome chicken marinade last night in the process
that’ll be a lot of stuffing

Ben: i saw you’re update
that’s really cool

Pam: it would have been cooler if it tasted like arby’s sauce

Ben: a friend and i decided long ago that if arby’s were to bottle their sauce they could close their stores, just sell that, and still make a profit

Pam: pretty much
all the recipes I found online were lame-o

Ben: yeah. i use to have a really good one

Pam: OH RLY?

Ben: yeah
had A-1, 57 sauce, arby’s, o’charley’s honey mustard, and a few others

Pam: and now that recipe is in the abyss :[

Ben: you mean the Arbyss

Pam: ooooh!

Ben: yeah
i went there

Never one to back down from a challenge, I engaged myself in at least 2 “pun-wars” ab0ut LOST yesterday. First off is the one between Jess and I. It was a battle for the ages, but in the end, after many Shannonigans, she admitted defeat.
Read more…

Today Jen thought she could hang with the big dogs on the pun-war. Little did she know I was bringing my A game.

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I know this is probably in poor taste, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. So here ya go, the bad pun-off of the day.

me: DUDE!
last night was teh crAzy!

Lewis: oh yeh?

me: http://www.wsbtv.com/news/18485435/detail.html
i was THERE

Lewis: wow, damn, nice!

me: yeah, so i left, and that happend about 10 mins later
i had about 6 friends that were still there

Lewis: that’s nuts man

me: yeah. is it wrong of me to kinda wish i had stayed back a bit?

Lewis: nah
i’m glad the right person won
unless of course that person was on his way to rob something… but still
the first wrong-doer was taught the ultimate lesson
my brother in law is going to end up like that guy, he wouldn’t rob anything but he’s brandished his gun before
one day someone is going to say … oh… POW POW POW

me: PEWPEWPEW!!!!

Lewis: but the gun will say POW and it’ll be more like BANG
haha
OMGLASERPEWPEWPEW
too bad it wasn’t a laser gun

me: if i ever get robbed i’m gonna hold out my hand like a gun and say that.
“gimmie yer wallet!”
“OMGLASERPEWPEWPEW”
he’ll probably end up giving me his wallet

Lewis: he’ll say OMGWALLETBAIBAIBAI

me: yep.
lemme put this email together to lay the smack on some peeps

Lewis: aight
5 minutes

me: i’m trying to decide if it’s appropriate to use the graveyard and a platform for puns based on last nights events
9 minutes

Lewis: doh!
that dude should have known better
than to try it there

me: he must have been confused and was most likely dead tired

Lewis: he should have tried, The Hold-up Palace… or The Thug Sanctum… or something
or You Will Get Robbed Here Street

me: or Pull A Gun and Get Shot Tavern

Lewis: yeah he was ‘lead‘ down the wrong path

me: i hear that place serves some pretty good mushroom caps

Lewis: that’s what he gets for barreling into that situation

me: he under estimated the ground he would have to cover if things went bad

Lewis: the shooter said, cut the “bull, lets” go
wonder if he was watching matrix: reloaded?

me: he was probably inside doing shots of jager
then decided he was having a blast

Lewis: wonder if he lived anywhere near powder springs?

me: doubt it. no one is dying get get out here

Lewis: he should have waited till saturday night, it’d have been more special (reference to lynyrd skynyrd song)
that was a long shot
which is has double the range of the hook’shot‘, btw

me: man, i got nothing over here. i figured it be easier, but i don’t want to beat a dead horse
we should probably just burry the hatched on this

Lewis: my head is killin me too, my puns would be more ‘pow‘erful if i had my wits about me

me: my friend kit was there. i checked in with her this morning, you know, in case kit had any more news

Lewis: winnar!
though, you think any’body’d bag‘ more info after something like that?
5 minutes

me: sorry, i got distracted by work. i’ve had to glock a lot of extra hours on a few of these projects lately

Lewis: doh!

me: yeah, that’s right. back with a vengance. can’t keep a man down for long.
7 minutes

me: you out? or am i sensing mo coming down the pipe in rapid fire succession?

Lewis: i’m drawing up all i got and i’m getting nothin

me: you shootin blanks?

Lewis: doin shots of thera-flu

me: “jennifer:
I’d like to join in the pun, but I bet I’d get shot down if I try to hang with you two”

Lewis: i see you point but it’s hollow
and at this point i’m drawing blank

me: that was a good one. i’ll be right back, i gotta go piss, told you i still had it.

Lewis: italicsfail!

me: doh!
looks like this is winding down. it was a blast, and i’ll unload it on to the bloggin’s in a bit

Yeah, we went there. But its Lewis and I. That’s how we roll.

As with nearly every day, Lewis and I went on another punning spree. Now for your reading pleasure…or displeasure depending your level of comfort for bad puns.

Ben: http://www.amazon.com/Lowel-Digital-Imaging-Tabletop-Fluorescent/dp/B0009K50RO?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1202049246&sr=8-1 i want that
http://steamykitchen.com/blog/2008/02/03/lowel-ego-lights-for-food-photography/

Lewis: that’s pretty amazing
amaz-on-ing

Ben: yeah. lighting makes all the difference

Lewis: i might get my dad something like that, he sells gourds (and believe it or not people buy them!)
sells em on ebay

Ben: yeah, i think i recall you saying that a while back

Lewis: and i’ve done photos for him but they’re just the ambient room light or the awful flash light
yeh

Ben: are they gourdous?

Lewis: it’s a gourdamn gold mine!

Ben: you better gourd your secrets

Lewis: well, commissioner gourdon has batman on that
all in all i did a pretty gourd job
this could be a flight of the congourds song

Ben: oh snap! i think it’s time you cut the umbilical gourd from that.

Lewis: still challenging me? En Gourde!
ok, lets make a peace acgourd

Ben: yeah, i was about to call Harrison Gourd to assist

Lewis: that would have struck a gourd for sure
so you going to gourdge on turkey tomorrow?
hmm, got DCd, someone pulled the gourd on the internetz
i should stop, otherwise this converstaion will gourd to hell

Ben: yeah, i think you struck a gourd with the powers that be

Lewis: used that one!

Ben: did you?
damn

Lewis: “that would have struck a gourd for sure”

Ben: i’m gourded for life

Lewis: snap!
well, regourdless, it was a good run

Ben: o
m
g
you have won my friend!

Lewis: w00t, that was a long one
better post this one

Ben: FOR THE GOURD!

Lewis: OMFG…
you came back from the DEAD on that one
I concede!

Ben: hey, are you doing the revote for gourdgia senate seat?

Lewis: doh!
yeah

Ben: < winnar!

I know, it was pretty bad…but that’s how we roll.

Here’s a chat Lewis and I had today. Its one of those rare occasions when a pun just keeps getting worse and worse until it blows up. Enjoy:

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This is pretty much how my morning went. Enjoy:

laserfloyd: i was jonesin for something to eat, so i found a piece of sweet n’ low candy in my drawer here, and i thought to myself “‘SWEET’ n’ low”

me: nice. so what’s the low down on that?

laserfloyd: sugar free, but it was low down in drawer
so i had to dig
low

me: i wonder if some one here could lown me one

laserfloyd: a bag is low price and usually low on the shelf so they get low exposure which means more for us

me: i’d hate to be the lowly clerk that has to put them there

laserfloyd: yeah, i’d much rather be mack’in on the sweet ladies running the registers, so maybe as to get down and low later on

me: you could take them out to sweat and perhaps get some lowvin

laserfloyd: i’d probably be too tired after un lowding a full truck though

me: perhaps if you weren’t such a lowner others would have helped

laserfloyd: usally my boss would watch while he got the low-down with the driver, you could say i got pwned every other day
lpwned

me: nice one. so there’s this house down the road from ours that has like a bajillion lights and christmas things on their house and on ther lown

laserfloyd: is it timed to get down with the music?
sowm music

me: not sure that one worked. i’m not saying you are a lowser or anything, just seemed a bit off

laserfloyd: i’m lowst
and it was lowsy

me: dag!

laserfloyd: LOW SNAP!

me: that was a clean sweet, i can’t compete with that.

laserfloyd: was is sansweet that wrote the starwars encyclopedia?
encyclowpedia*

me: you got me there. i don’t knlow enough about that stuff
oh, btw. all of this will be going in my blowg

laserfloyd: a friend lowned it to me, but i haven’t seen him in a lowng while
SWEET
sw33t?

me: i swee, t alk to him and see what he’s up to

laserfloyd: ah, he lives down sowth

me: i think we’ve reached the end
a lowll if you will

laserfloyd: even a klown would stop now