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Me, just me.

So for the most part 2008 sucked ass. There wasn’t a whole lot of “great” that went on. It was a year that put a lot of hurt in my life. A year that I never in a million years would’ve thought would’ve happened. No one can plan on a divorce, and I can’t think of anyone that goes into a marriage and says “I think I’m going to bail on this in 2 years.” It just doesn’t work like that. But a divorce is what I got. That certainly was the major down side of 2008, but there were other points that were bad as well. I mean, not really specific events, but it was just not a good year. Well, that’s not totally true. There were some bright moment of the past year that I am certainly glad took place.

Back in March (I believe it was March) I started in on counseling. This was to better myself as a person and a husband. Over the course of the next several months I certainly found a better perspective on myself. I learned a lot about me, I shed a lot of tears, and I faced a great deal of harsh realities. I wouldn’t change that for the world. It’s an experience I recommend to anyone. I can say with about 98% certainty that had it not been for my counselor (and some friends) that I would’ve not made it through 2008. I was in a bad place and after suffering several panic attacks I’m glad to have people I can count on when in trouble.

In addition to the marriage loss, there were some near loss of friends. That just about hurt worse than anything. When you lose people you love over disagreements or miscommunication it’s just bad and it hurts. Things are on the mend and that puts a smile on my heart. I’m glad there’s an upward swing to this pendulum. I guess it can’t always be bacon and chocolate.

There was a ton more ups and downs that went on in 2008, but that’s what this blog is for right?

So what does 2009+ bring? No idea. I do know that I’m going to believe in myself a lot more. I’m not going to take things for granted I’m going to keep moving forward and I’m not going to let others dictate my emotions or reactions to things. Those are for me to decide. For the longest I would base what I did on what others were doing. That was never a good thing and would only lead to more loss at some point. In 2009 I’m going to sell this house, I’m going to travel, I’m going to love, and I’m going to live. I’m sure at some point I’ll lose some weight, but I’ll also gain weight. I’ll work out, but I’ll have days (or more) where I just don’t want to do a damn thing. Maybe I’ll read more, or maybe I won’t. I’m not going to place expectations on trivial things. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if I say “I resolve to run at least 3 times a week?” No. Instead I resolve to be me and nothing more. That’s all anyone is going to get outta me. I will give me 100%. That’s what I do, that’s how I live, and that’s what makes ME happy.

A few weeks back I posted my review of The Dark Knight. At the time I had only seen the movie once. Shortly after we were given the opportunity to see Mama Mia! at work. Quickly everyone jumped on the “that’s a terrible idea bandwagon” and it got switched to The Dark Knight. I wasn’t about to miss an opportunity to get out of work and see the movie again. However, I have to say, that seeing it a second time did not make it better. Infact I’d say that it may have been too soon to see it again.

I noticed that there is a LOT of dialogue. Maybe too much. There were points where it was just talk, talk, talk, talk…………talk. I wanted to see more action, more Batman, more, Joker, more of those big IMAXy shots, more! There was so much talking in fact that I fell asleep, TWICE! Once just before the dead fake Batman comes flying into the window hanging by a noose (which scared the shit out of me and I jumped quite a bit). The other was near the one of the first endings of the movie. I don’t recall exactly, but oh well.

Oh, another thing that kinda irked me was when Christian Bale was Batman and talking to someone he went a little too deep/dark with the voice. I mean, he did it in the first one, and then over did it in this one. I could have stood to have him tone back just a smidge.

So yeah. It was about 30 minutes too long, Christian Bale was a bit to scruffly voiced, and the dialoge was draining. I think maybe another viewing in several months might be good, but not before then.

I wanted to wait until the weekend was over to give my review. That way anyone that had either seen it or tried to see it would’ve had the opportunity. But just incase, here’s a warning that there are spoilers and such contained within this post. If you’ve yet to see the movie and don’t wish to know certain plot details, then by all means come back once you’ve managed to sit through the entire movie with out the projector catching on fire and/or the film being spliced together by a 3rd grade science class.

And now for the review.
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So I was at lunch today and Scott was like “oh, hey Barack was in Powder Springs yesterday wasn’t he?” I was like there’s no fuckin’ way that Barack was in P. Town yesterday. But Scott assured me that he was. So when i got back to my desk I looked it up and sure enough he was. Not only was he in Powder Springs, but he was at McEachern. WHAT. THE. FUCK. That’s MY highschool, that a potential next president was speaking at!! I mean! SHIT! I would’ve droped everything and rushed home for that. Granted I don’t follow politics that much, but it’s not every day that something like this happens, esp. not this close to home. 3 f’n miles worth of close!

Damn I’m kinda pissed now.

Anyway, enjoy the video that someone filmed…IN POWDER FRICKIN’ SPRINGS!!!!

So today has come and gone for the most part. Not a whole lot to report on, other than apparently I’m the designated cook for all events from this point forward.

There wasn’t a whole lot going on around the house today so I took a walk (I’ll update the photos tomorrow or later). I ventured pretty deep in the woods and saw the location where James is going to be launching the fireworks on Saturday. It was a hot mess out there so I decided to head back.

After that it was a whole lot of just fartin’ around and/or playing Rock Band. Didn’t really do anything, and it was pretty nice. I enjoyed just relaxing and haning out with what I consider to be family now. I really like Kim’s family, they’re all so nice!

For dinner, I got to make some BBQ chicken (well, it was grilled chicken with my home made BBQ sauce). It turned out fairly well, but not as good as I would’ve like. I really need to monitor my chicken some more. I burned a few pieces, but the people seemed to enjoy it. I’ll keep working at it until I get it perfected.

So that was it. Just a whole lot of being hot, sweating a lot, and tatertot…I was just looking for somthign that rhymed. Probobaly no photography tonight.

OHHHHH, we got to take the Jeep out for a ride tonight. For those wondering what the hell the Jeep ride is…imagine taking a Jeep with no door, barely any windows, no roof, and a sticky clutch, craming in 5 people, and gunning it through the woods at night through a trail that is pretty over grown. Tack on the fact that we weren’t sure if we had headlights and we had to steal the battery from the truck to drive the Jeep, and you’ve got for a fun filled evening filled with ticks, tree limbs, quack quack’s, and a knot in your back from being jostled around a lot. I LOVED it. I’d go for a Jeep rided all the time if it was like that.

Oh well, back to drinking, and socializing. I like it hear and can’t wait for the real party to get started. Later all!

It’s barely 6:00am and I’m already feeling pooped. I just don’t have any motivation to do anything today. Perhaps it’s the 9 scheduled meetings and the thought that there could be a few more thrown in for good measure. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m being throw to the wolves at work and asked to to things that I feel are moarly wrong. I don’t know, work is just beating me down lately. I’d like to go in and just be able to knock a few things out, pack up and head home. That sounds an aweful lot like some of my older posts, but it’s true. I’ve been given all the responsibilities of a manager, all the duties, tasks, and all the shit that goes with it, but I’ve not been given the proper tools, title, or pay that support it. Next month I start my Managing Smarter classes which should be pretty good…after the 14 months of courses.

Other than that life right now I feel is just kinda there. My head is in so many different places right now that I’d like to just run away from it all. I really do want to just get the heck out of dodge some days, but I can’t. I have to much to lose to leave. I have my good days, and I certainly have my bad ones, and for some reason I feel like the bad ones are starting to pile up. I’m in a rut, emotionally, physically, mentally. I have no idea how to get out of it, and I don’t want to be candy canes and sugar pops on the outside and feel like doodoo on the inside.

One of these days….

That was a pretty terrible title, but it could’ve been a lot worse. Well, maybe not. Anywho, over the weekend (Jan 18th – 21st) we had some snow. Not just like a small ‘dusting’ like we had earlier in the week but really some good snowball making type snow. I had a chance to get out and take some pictures (see our photos page). There really is something peaceful about a snow. It’s quite calming and comforting. At least it is to me. I’m sure there are a lot of people that hate the snow and the cold and everything about it, but I’d be perfectly fine if it were the “blizzard of ‘93″ again every year. Those were the some pretty fun days. Despite the fact that I was held up at home with just my mom, brother and soon to be sister-in-law, I had a great time.
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