RockPaperFire.com

Grrrface. That’s what I am right now. I have so many awesome, wonderful things going on in my life, but there’s just one little part to remedy. And what sucks is…it’s where I spend most of my time. When the place you spend 8+ hours a day is making you miserable, something’s got to give! Next week is Winter Break and I fully intend to hit the streets and find something closer to home. Send me good vibes, prayers, whatever it is you do. If not for my sake then for the boys I live with. Bless ‘em for putting up with my foul mood for the first hour after I get home.

Other than the previous, things are great lately! Life has been extremely different lately. The journey to get me where I am now is not a fun one to look back on interesting…but the destination is turning out quite beachy. <3

Also...this weekend is Valentine's Day! I know it can be silly holiday. Why not tell someone you love them EVERY day instead of waiting for a holiday?? I get that...but it's also a great reason to come up with some Special Secret Sniper Plans! I have dinner reserved and the hotel booked. I can't wait to put SniperBen in the car Saturday morning and drive to our secret destination. This is not our first Valentine's Day...but it's the first one that counts.

The following week is Winter Break! Soooooooooo stoked about that! I am planning a trip to Snow Mountain that week and I’m also gonna start car shopping. I can’t believe poor Ol’ Greg has even made it as long as he has…and my tax money is going towards new wheels so he can finally be put to rest.

So…back to the grrrface. I wonder…what do YOU do to find your happy place at work? Favorite website that makes you smile? Something that gets you through the day? So far…blogging is working ok for me.

It’s been a few months since I last wrote anything here. In all honesty I’ve had a lot going on and finding the time to sit and write, just didn’t come easy.

So here’s a quick rundown of what all I’ve had going on. Since my last real post, I’ve sold my house, I’ve got a new job, I’ve ended a relationship (one that many of my friends had no idea I was even in), and I’ve been to my first pro football game.

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Me and The Golden Gate Bridge

I originally had this big post to talk about my San Fran trip, but really it wasn’t all that much to write home about. The main reason I was out there was for the Gilbane CMS conference. I was to be a speaker and…I spoke. It didn’t go over as well as I had anticipated, but I got the message across and got a good bit of questions and a great reception. There was some good feedback from the company I was there speaking with and I think there are a lot of opportunities opening up as a result of the past week. I’m looking forward to a good partnership between AutoTrader.com and Percussion. We’ll just have to see how things pan out over the next week or so.

Other than that San Fran was a lot of walking for me. I went and saw the Golden Gate Bridge and Lombard Street and I got to see Alcatraz from a distance, but that was really it. I want to go back out there for a vacation and really take in a lot of the sights and see what else the city has to offer. The weather was great, the food was fantastic and I had a good time, but I want to experience it when I don’t have 3 days of conferencing to attend to and a presentation to prepare.

So there’s my San Fran summary. Nothing major, but it definitely made me want to go back. I’m sure I’ll be back soon enough. I think it would be fun with a group of people. Who’s going with me?

I want to find another term for Prototype….thoughts?

Name Removed
Pretentious title removed
Office: 404-Not-here
Cell: 404-No-really

Got that email from my boss today. It took everything in my power to not shoot back with some snippy comments. But considering I’ve already been dinged once for being snide, I held back. Instead I decided to throw them on here. Gotta get it out some how.

So here are my ideas. Lemme know what you think:

• New Stuff
• Coming Soon
• Beta Program
• Zygote Model (that one came from Pam)
• Infant Model
• Todler Design
• Lil’ guy
• Junior Miss

I’m leaning towards Junior Miss. I think it would really get the developers rockin’ on that project.  I mean if someone came to you and said “Hey guys so it looks like Product Management has got this new area of the site they want us to put into a Junior Miss phase” wouldn’t you just jump all over it? I know I would. I’m practically developing that area of site now based on how awesome it sounds. 

I can tell you now the rest of the ideas weren’t much better. But seeing as everyone loves to kiss ass around there they were just feeding the boss. I didn’t get in line or wait my turn. I figured me giving ideas, good or bad, isn’t going to be me any closer to where I want to be.

Finally found some pics I’ve been trying to find for ages.

Dutch and Rambo

Dutch, Wednesday, Rambo

These were taken in 2003 at one of the Halloween deals we had at work.

Rant incoming.
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To put it in the simplest of terms things aren’t great, hell things aren’t good. I’m still hanging in there and every day I wake up. I’ll keep moving forward despite how difficult of a process that is. I can’t say thank you enough to those that have been there when things have gotten especially bad. This is not a plea for sympathy or a cry for attention or anything, it’s just me putting my self out there. I owe it to who ever reads this to at least provide a glimpse of where I’m at. I’m not one to deal with things internally; I have to put it out there. Whether it be via this blog, a journal, opening up to a friend, or other, this is how I deal with my life.

So that’s that.

On a lighter note I figure I’ll just run down a few other things:

• The house is in near immaculate shape now that it is half empty and clean to the max
• I’m having an open house on Sunday and am praying that someone will put an offer down
• I’d still like to have people over at some point for a general hang out/drinking/fun having time
• Tropic Thunder was the shit!
• 2 months prior to and my birthday plans are already in effect
• Comcast is pretty much a pain in the ass, but still cheaper than DTV + AT&T
• Work is pretty uneventful and one of the most unrewarding things ever
• I have a ton of video’s planned for Friday
• This past weekend I did my first run in 50 days, 2.4 miles in the bank
• Culinary school is too damn expensive for me to start until I sell my house
• I’m starting King Nacho back up, if anyone has an event that needs food, let me know
• I’m still tweaking the site, including the photos page

That’s about it really. It’s amazing how much better you feel after watching some YouTube and writing some things out. Things aren’t all kittens and snowflakes, but at least it’s not a total pile of ass.

Dear Life,
I’m comin’ for you.

Ben

UPDATE: Photos page is now working!

It’s barely 6:00am and I’m already feeling pooped. I just don’t have any motivation to do anything today. Perhaps it’s the 9 scheduled meetings and the thought that there could be a few more thrown in for good measure. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m being throw to the wolves at work and asked to to things that I feel are moarly wrong. I don’t know, work is just beating me down lately. I’d like to go in and just be able to knock a few things out, pack up and head home. That sounds an aweful lot like some of my older posts, but it’s true. I’ve been given all the responsibilities of a manager, all the duties, tasks, and all the shit that goes with it, but I’ve not been given the proper tools, title, or pay that support it. Next month I start my Managing Smarter classes which should be pretty good…after the 14 months of courses.

Other than that life right now I feel is just kinda there. My head is in so many different places right now that I’d like to just run away from it all. I really do want to just get the heck out of dodge some days, but I can’t. I have to much to lose to leave. I have my good days, and I certainly have my bad ones, and for some reason I feel like the bad ones are starting to pile up. I’m in a rut, emotionally, physically, mentally. I have no idea how to get out of it, and I don’t want to be candy canes and sugar pops on the outside and feel like doodoo on the inside.

One of these days….

I figured I’d go ahead and get started on this. Tonight Jon got in (by tonight I mean that he got to the room at 11:30pm) then he and I talked and headed out to have a drink or two and just hang out. So I’m just now getting back. It’s now 5:00am est and I’m pretty much tired as fuck. I had a few beers and 2 pieces of pizza. The pizza was as I expected it and I kinda wish I had only gone with one. Either way, its late and I reckon I should go to bed.

I’ll update this as the rest of the day progresses.

Ok, so the day is pretty much done. We still have dinner later tonight and dizam am I looking forward to that. Jon and I have reservations at Rick Bayless’ restaurant Topolobampo. I had completely forgot about this place until Maggie reminded me. So that should be nice. I’ll put in a review later on.

So today was kinda one of those days. Some stuff threw me on a down slope this morning and I had a hard time recovering. I had some pancakes at the Original Pancake House and that was pretty flippin’ awesome. I was only slightly hung over so it wasn’t like I was trying to use the food to make me feel better. I was just ate it to enjoy it.

After that I got ready and headed off to the conference. Today’s topics were a bit missleading but I stuck with it. After the first 2 sessions I walked back to the hotel. Yeah, that’s right…walked back to the hotel. Two miles doesn’t seem that far until you’re hungry, cranky, tired, hot, and uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, the weather was perfect and I got to see some of the most amazing buildings I’ve ever seen. This town really is asthetically pleasing. I see now why people want to live here.

So got back, cleaned up a bit then headed over to Gibson’s for lunch. Ever since there was talks of coming to Chicago, Jon has been hyping up this reuben. Now, I’m not a big fan of sauerkraut or thousand island dressing, but holy shit! This was infact one of the best sandwiches I’ve ever had. The bread was amazing, the portion was just right and all the flavors blended perfectly. With the exception of the shitty ass excuse for fries it was a great lunch. I already want to come back here and have it again…and I’m not even gone yet!

I had 1 more session to attend and I was not about to walk BACK to the damn thing. I took a cab, which I’m learning isn’t quite as bad as the mental whatever I’ve had in my head about them. Conference was well but I just kinda started feeling lost. My legs were completely obliritated from all the walking, I wasn’t happy with my clothing choice, my feet hurt like hell and I was out of cash and couldn’t find an ATM to save my life. Much like day 1 at the airport I was losing it. Finally I found an ATM, hailed a cab and made it back to the room safe and sound.

While sitting around not doing anything it dawned on me that dinner wasn’t until like 8 days later and I knew I’d be hungry before then. So I set out on a mission to find a Chicago style hot dog. Luckily it was only a few blocks, and man was it worth it. So far I’ve had a deep dish pizza, an amazing reuben that totally lived up to the hype, and a hot dog. Aside from Wrigley field (which we’re off to tomorrow) I think I’ve covered all the things to do here in Chicago. But I’m sure I’ll find something else tomorrow.

So far so good. I had the best night sleep I’ve had in a week or so. There’s something quite calming about taking a bath and reading a book. I never really appreciated such a thing. The rest I got and the awakeness I feel today was/is totally worth it.

So I’m at the conference and things are about to get under way. I’ll finish this up later on today.

Quick uppdate while I’m on a break. At the recomendation of Jenny I went to Potbelly for lunch. DIZAM this was a good sandwich. It was pretty basic, but I mean whoa! I love this town. So far everything about it (excpet for the urine filled sandy beaches) makes me want to move here. Aight, I only have a few moments before this thing get’s started back up. I’m going to do my best to hang for the duration, but the weather and the city are calling me. Damn you awesome weather.

So I stayed fairly true to my conference. I ducked out only for the last session. They didn’t really have anything I wanted to hear anyway. So I got a cab ride back to the hotel, changed clothes and headed out. I’ve been hearing great things about Millennium Park so I figured I’d go for a walk. Well, I got a little side tracked and ended up at the Navy Pier instead. Not that there was anything wrong with that, it just wasn’t where I expected to end up. I was pretty f’n tired by the time I got there that I decided to just hang out and not really do anything. I didn’t walk all the way out because that would’ve taked another mile or so onto the 3+ miles I was slated for (to and from the park from my hotel room).

So I sat…and just took it all in. I had my moment of Zen. It was good to just breathe and experience what life had to offer. I really did enjoy it. I think I’m going to have to start doing that a lot more. After a while of just being, I set off to find some food. No I typically don’t like to eat at the same resturant more than once (save for breakfast) while I’m on a trip. So I scoured all around for some place to go that I could only experience in Chicago. I wanted something that was a bit different. Well, as luck would have it, I made it all the way back to the hotel and nothing had really struck my fancy. So I settled for Gibson’s. I was already planning on eating there for lunch tomorrow, but I was hungry and a bloody meaty steak was calling my name. And my friends, let me tell you…that’s what I got. I got a perfectly cooked (in my book) medium rare steak with a nice char on the outside. This steak was second only to the steak I had in Las Vegas. Huh, aparently I can’t seem to find my CraftSteak story anywhere on here. Oh well, I’ll tell it one of these days.

So yeah, I got my steak and I was happy. Now, I’m back at the hotel and I’m just gonna hunker down until Jon gets here. We’ll probably go out and have a few drinks, but it shouldn’t be anything too crazy.

Oh, and I re-established my Flickr account. So maybe I can get some photos uploaded through that. We’ll see.